this better be worth it.
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I’LL LOVE YOU.
(Source: therogo, via angelowillruletehworld)
I know that with every failure I’ll get, it’s your tears that’ll be floating the most; with every heartbreak i’ll get, it’s your heart that’ll be bleeding the most; with every success i’ll achieve, it’s your legs that’ll jump the highest; with every pierce and tattoo i’ll get, it’s your body that’ll be shivering; with every drunken nights i wont remember, it’s your head that gets the hangover. Everything I do and everything I feel, is twice with you. I lie, I hide, I let myself be angry because I love you so much. I try my best to keep you from crying over/because of me. I know it’s wrong but it’s the least I can do. One day, you might see how messed up your kid was, but this I also assure you… Mothers - mama and mami - i’ll make you proud. I promise.
“Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy’s first Law of Equivalent Exchange.” — Alphonse Elric, Full Metal Alchemist (via potassiumism)
(Source: dar-k-ness, via crooksandqueens)
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(via 90s90s90s)
Today, I was in line at a grocery store behind an adorable five-or-so-year-old boy and his mother. http://bit.ly/KONLRX
but of course.
Luck -
It’s always easier to blame somebody.
It’s always a lot easier on you, as a person, to look at something, and find somebody who you can blame, who you can hold responsible, who you can direct your anger and your feeling of being wronged towards.
But sometimes that’s not the case.
I met a guy today. I’ve known him for years, but today, in his intoxicated stupor he spilled all of his secrets, his abuse stories, his suicide attempts, all of that. And he blames his father, who beat him around from an early age, who cheated on his wife, who beat his wife and kids. And towards him, he has all this anger.
I think he has PTSD and Depression, and he holds his dad entirely culpable (for good reason).
I have the same thing.My trauma was because of my mother’s manic episodes from when she went off of her meds, and my parents constant and fairly violent fighting, and all that.
But unlike my friend, I can’t blame my parents. My mom went off her meds, and it was the bipolar. And when my parents fought, they were just trying their hardest to keep the family together and not divorce. When they hit me, it was to discipline me. It’s just that with anger issues, it sometimes went overboard. But at the end of the day, they do love me.
I don’t hate my parents.
And unlike my friend, I don’t really have anybody to blame.
And that means that nobody is responsible. That whatever happened to me, was just the hand I was dealt, and that lack of cause is simply what I have to blame.
It’s simple probability. There is a one in X chance that this would happen, and i happened to be that person. And you can try to draw all the meaning out of it, but it’s like trying to draw meaning out of a poker hand. It’s just the cards you get, and it’s random, and that’s about it.
There’s a chance I would have been born a crack baby.
There’s a chance I would have been Bill Gates’s son.
There’s a chance I would have had a near-perfect childhood in some quiet suburb and my life would have been entirely unremarkable.It’s random.
And trying to draw meaning out of it is pointless.
I don’t have anybody to blame for my actions.
But why should it matter.
It is as much the cards you’re dealt that define you as it is what you choose to do with them.
And only one of those do you have any control over.- Akash Jain
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WORD.
(Source: makebelievethati-impress, via gettinghurt-hurts)